


After all this Time

by Lovethistoomuch



Category: Kingsman (Movies)
Genre: First Kiss, Hurt, Love Confessions, M/M, Romance
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-07-03
Updated: 2019-07-03
Packaged: 2020-06-03 09:52:13
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,266
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19461526
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Lovethistoomuch/pseuds/Lovethistoomuch
Summary: They were ready to take on Poppy full force! But until then, there was still a bit of time. Harry wondered, exactly how much...“Can I talk to you for a moment?”, he asked casually in the direction of Merlin, who, he couldn't help but noticing, looked extremely sharp in his suit.Set during the course of the second film, Harry decides that it is finally time to tell Merlin about his feelings towards him. He does so on the plane, when they are on the way to Poppy's headquarters.





	After all this Time

**Author's Note:**

> If you only want the romance and none of the hurt, stop reading at the three stars.

“And I'm entrusting this... to me!”, Merlin said in a dramatic way, holding up a knife, longer than his forearm. They were ready to take on Poppy full force! But until then, there was still a bit of time. Harry wondered, exactly how much...

“Can I talk to you for a moment?”, he asked casually in the direction of Merlin, who, he couldn't help but noticing, looked extremely sharp in his suit.

The wizard raised his eyebrows, probably wondering what could be so important right now but at the same time immediately agreed. “Sure!”, he responded, putting down the knife on the table and turning his piercing gaze towards Eggsy: “Ya stay in the cockpit and tell me, when we're approaching the island?”

It wasn't really a question as much as an order. Nevertheless, Eggsy smiled. “Will do!”, he said, leaving the room. Before he closed the door, he shot a quick glance behind him, wondering as well what Harry wished to discuss at a time like this.

A few moments passed until Harry spoke, as if he wanted to make sure that his protégé was actually gone. All the while he was aware of the way Merlin studied his face. Suddenly the room seemed a lot bigger. Standing in the middle of it, Harry had the feeling of being exposed. But he didn't have much time and honestly, what he had to say wouldn't take long either way.

“I have just told Eggsy”, Harry began in his slow, elaborate way of speaking that was more often than not perceived as very posh: “That I felt nothing when I was shot by Valentine. That my last thoughts were nothing, that I was leaving nothing behind”, he made a short pause, taking note of the subtle shock that was displayed on Merlin's face after this confession. “However”, he went on: “That is not true. There was something I felt, very distinctly in the last second of my life”, he was very serious: “What I felt was regret! I regretted that I had never told you, how much you mean to me! That I had never said to you that you are the most important person in my life! That I love you from the bottom of my heart and I could not imagine my life without you!” He stopped, his eyes locked with Merlin's, the weight of his words still resonating in his body and in the room around him. He was nervous but at the same time it felt as if a weight had been lifted from his shoulders that had sat there ever since he regained his memory. He waited.

Merlin opened his mouth but immediately closed it again. There was something in his eyes that Harry could not quite pin down. Was it desperation? Or shock? Or something else? Before he could tell, Merlin's gaze shot down to the ground. When he looked up again, he had a sympathetic expression. “Well, I, uh”, His voice sounded a bit husky so he cleared his throat and started again: “I... you know I love ya too, Harry. Ye're my best friend.” Saying this, his eyes shifted a little all over the place, but his body too was restless. Harry on the other hand stayed impressively calm.

“That is what you have gathered from my confession?”, he asked a little disappointed: “Best friends?” Merlin now seemed to avoid eye contact so Harry took a step forward to get his attention back. It worked, as Merlin suddenly became a bit less twitchy, awaiting the next words. “Just so I can be perfectly certain that you have understood me correctly, and my intentions were clear, I'm going to put it very bluntly”, Harry informed him. His voice was missing it's usual cockiness: “I am madly in love with you and have been for ages! You are the most amazing person I have ever met and I find you very attractive both physically and spiritually”, he smiled a little apologetically: “I can't help it, sorry! … What is your answer to that?”

He could see it in his body first: The way, Merlin's shoulders suddenly relaxed, how his feet again seemed to be sewn to the ground. Then Merlin smiled and showed his white but slightly crooked teeth, his eyes suddenly very soft. “It would be tha same as before: I love ya too, Harry! Always have!”, he stated. There was a short pause as he seemed to collect his thoughts. Then suddenly, he turned red. His eyes shot to the floor. “I don't know what else ta say”, he confessed: “Ya're amazing and I love ya, I can't.. I've never been good at making speeches. At least not on these matters.” When Harry didn't answer, Merlin's gaze went up again. Suddenly, a sly smile appeared on his face: ”It's just so typical that ya confess to me, before I had the chance to do it, and in a situation like this!” Merlin's voice sounded a little accusatory but more in a mocking way.

Harry laughed. “You had thirty years time!”, he objected: “You can hardly blame me for rushing things!” With these words he crossed the remaining space between them.

They were looking at each other, both exactly the same height, or if Merlin was a bit taller, Harry's hair made up for it completely. Suddenly there was a tingle in his stomach, something he hadn't felt in a long time! “Maybe not”, Merlin agreed: “But ya could have timed this better!” He stretched out his right hand to touch the other man's shoulder and neck, tugging him towards himself: “We barely have any time for anything right now!” There was a hungry expression in his eyes and Harry's heart raced even faster.

He resited Merlin's pull only long enough, so that he could let out a short laugh. “Well, you know, I've always been a bit of a drama queen”, he stated, before finally giving in to the touch which was rewarded with a very sweet, soft kiss. But sweet and soft was not really what Harry was looking for! They didn't have much time and he wanted to get as much out of this as possible. Grabbing Merlin by the waist, he pulled him closer towards himself, feeling his entire body pressed against his. The wizard responded immediately, by putting his left hand on Harry's waist and then on his back holding him very tight. They were kissing like mad now, like they wanted to make up for thirty years of ignorance in only a few seconds. Merlin, who had been standing very close to the table, bumped into it with his legs but he didn't seem to care. Everything that mattered now was this! Him and Harry, finally together!

Eggsy was sitting in the cockpit looking at the computers, waiting. He didn't really know what half the shit around him did and he didn't want to find out. If it hadn't been for all the small buttons and levers, he would have put his feet up on the counter, or whatever this commando station was called in an air-plain. All the waiting in combination with the urgency of the matter, made him uneasy!

Suddenly, he noticed a change on the only console that he actually knew in this place: They were almost at their destination! In a heartbeat he was up on his feet and rushed to the door. “Merlin!”, he jelled: “We're at the.... holy shit!” Whatever he had expected, it was not this! “Holy shit”, he repeated, stumbling a bit backwards to compensate for the fact that he had rushed into the room at full speed and had gone from 100 to zero in one second.

Merlin was half sitting, half lying on the table in the middle of the room, while Harry was draped over him, using his right hand to hold Merlin and his left to support himself on the tabletop. Merlin's hands were somewhere under the jacket of Harry's suit and while Eggsy could not see exactly where, he was sure that he did not want to know!

When hearing Eggsy's voice, they did not exactly freeze but Harry rather pulled Merlin up into a sitting position, before he let go of him. It was hard to tell who of them looked more dishevelled. “Well...”, Harry said, not looking nearly as embarrassed as he should have: “It seems, we have reached our destination.” He made no attempt to move, so Merlin had to shove him to the side, while standing up. The wizard's face was completely expressionless. With a few quick movements, he adjusted his suit and closed the buttons on his jacked. When he shot Eggsy a look he seemed to contemplate murder for a second.

Even if Eggsy wanted nothing more than to smile, he held it in a little longer, until Merlin had passed him in a few, angry strides. Merlin didn't even look back at Harry but vanished into the cockpit. The moment he was gone, Eggsy couldn't hold it in any longer. “Well...”, he said with a big, smug grin: “Seems like somebody wasn't tellin' the truth!”

“I don't know what you mean”, Harry answered, running his left hand trough his hair in an attempt to tidy it up. He seemed to aim for an innocent expression but in reality he was far to pleased and proud of himself to succeed. With a cheeky grin, he started tugging his shirt back into his trousers.

“Oh, you know!”, Eggsy disagreed: “You told me, you've never known love and here you are with Merlin...”, he shook his head: “If that ain't lyin', Harry, I don' know what is.”

After buttoning up his jacket, Harry would have looked decent again, if it hadn't been for his expression. “It was more of a 'spur of the moment' thing”, he confessed: “I took some inspiration from you.” With these words, he winked and Eggsy shook his head. Not in disagreement but rather because he himself could not believe Harry's nerve. “At least I can cross that off my bucket list”, Harry remarked, making his way to the cockpit door.

Eggsy had a bit of an uncertain feeling when entering the cockpit after Harry but after all it was not his fault that the two had to make out in the main seating area and in a situation where he was bound to walk in on them! Merlin shot them a short glance before returning his attention to the electronics around him. “Ya better brace yerselves for the landing”, he informed them in his professional tone: “We're there.”

Harry immediately took a seat beside him, while Eggsy sat down on the little seat at the far side of the cockpit. Once they reached the tree level, it got a bit bumpy but there was no doubt that Merlin would bring them down safely. As soon as the plane stood still and Merlin had switched off the consoles, Harry grabbed his hand. “Well done”, he said: “Now let's go, save the world!”

“That's the spirit!”, Eggsy agreed, getting out of his seat.

Suddenly, Merlin smiled. His thumb brushed over Harry's hand but he was looking at both of them. “Yeah!”, he said: “Let's do exactly that!”

* * *

After the ceremony and numerous speeches were over they were finally alone. “I am glad that I've told you about my feelings”, Harry said, looking on the ground: “This way I never have to wonder what could have been, what you could have said. I know that you loved me the same way I loved you”, he paused: “I am glad that I don't have to live with that now, that doubt in my heart because I know that you not only were my best friend but you loved me as well. And I know what it is like to kiss you, to hold you”, he blushed a little, thinking about Merlin's soft moaning as he had pulled him towards himself in that plane on that day. “I will never forget that kiss”, he added quietly in case he was overheard: “Almost all my life you have watched over me and I think in a way, you still do. It's sentimental, I know, but I've always been a sentimental, romantic”, he smiled: “Maybe you were a bit sentimental yourself. There are so many things I never knew about you, I newer asked...” he fell silent for a moment and closed his eyes, letting the tears run down his face. “I hope that your last thoughts were better than mine, that you had something to think of, besides regret”, his voice sounded heavy now: “I don't know if mine will be. I'm relatively certain they won't.”

He was silent for a while, waiting for the tears to stop. “I miss you”, he finally said: “But I guess you already know that...” He made a step forward to touch the gravestone with his left hand. The tips of his fingers felt the cold, smooth surface. How strange that this stone was supposed to represent Merlin, to stand here in his place. It was too small and too unremarkable to do him justice. It had none of his presence, the way he demanded attention only by entering a room. The gravity of his person, the way his body occupied space, his sharp, impressive silhouette. None of this was reflected here. This was not right, it was not enough. But even a statue, a big mausoleum, it would not be enough, never enough!

“Good bye my friend”, Harry finally said and left.


End file.
